Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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