You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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