Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
