Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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