I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
