If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
