The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
