In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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