Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
