Nicole vs. Life
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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