Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
