My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize