i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize