Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
