Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
