ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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