he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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