Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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