Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he was CRYING into my vagina
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
