Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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