i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And then my night got REAL pukey
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
