the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
