what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
