Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
