I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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