how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize