How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
