Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
