I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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