They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
