And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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