The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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