So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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