On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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