After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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