we have officially lost it.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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