My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wish you could order shots online.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
