Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
