a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize