why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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