wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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