I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
