Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
