dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize