is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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