genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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