Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Couch. On fire.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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