Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize