they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
