People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
