Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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