You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize