The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
