apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
