You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize