How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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