Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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