my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
jump out the window naked night went bad
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