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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

  Fav 21 3313 817

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part

  Fav 11 875 5095

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  we need to stop having unprotected sex.

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.

  Fav 31 1473 4487

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.

  Fav 4 4170 1080

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

  Fav 24 6328 1606

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.

  Fav 16 6029 1733

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.

  Fav 3 3850 1724

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• (407): View more from Florida

  That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

  Fav 13 2600 971

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• (714): View more from California

  I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night 

  Fav 1 679 856

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.

  Fav 2 1245 663

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"

  Fav 1 1063 580

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.

  Fav 0 368 124

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.

  Fav 1 74 113

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...

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