belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
