He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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