which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
