you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
