We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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