She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
