guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
