remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
