Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
