Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
