Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
