It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
