Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
