I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
