Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
