remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
